21

Twins. 

Tj, my blood brotha/sistah you're approximately, 21 years old for an hour and four minutes. You will age, as I type, and as you slave away in Ortigas, but I'm pretty sure you're still the same old true true friend I've known for years.

I wish you a happy birthday. I also wish that you keep all your calm and your cool as we go through life. I wish you  keep soothing the troubles of the times with your priceless humor and your grip of reality, traits that only you have perfected. I wish you find your faith in God again (and I'm not kidding one bit) since I know that you know you are as grateful to him as I am. But most of all, I wish you all the happiness both past and future lives could afford you. Among the many I know, you deserve to be happy and find the no-bullshit contentment that a person as driven, as genuine and as real as you truly deserve.

For whatever may come your way, I shall always be with you just as you've been with me for all the crap and strawberries. 

A birthday dedication won't be complete without a bunch of thank yous. Thank you for being one of the most dependable people I know and love. Thank you for owing up to being a blood sibling. Thank you for just being an incredibly fun and wonderful person, cause honestly, the world would be much grayer without you. 

So keep calm, stop sucking your tooth too much cause it won't do you good, get your root canal done and remember that whatever floats your boat will surely give you biyahilo. I'm kidding. No, whatever floats your boat, just could be the only things that matter. Right? RIGHT!

See you in a bit.

Great love & respect,

Gerard

The Exit: An Open Letter to Batch 2011

So true. 

I'm skipping the awful sentiments, about how it felt like only yesterday and all that crap...

...Actually, it does feel like it was all yesterday. It's cliche, but it always feels like the first day of college. You barely know anybody and you think everybody's wayyy better than you (or if you're suffering superiority complex, everyone's not worth your time) when in fact, you're probably all just the same: kinda ugly, soon-to-be real great-looking kids who'll be shuffling through carpeted hallways to the next class, all for the sake of becoming who we're supposed to be.

So, for the record, I really didn't expect my college life to be such an amazing journey. I was set on being alone and just dedicating four years of my life to never having fun and just burying my face in books and readings (cause I always thought high school was where fun ended). But then I met lots of amazing people, professors included, who've been nothing but the most brilliant people you could ever meet in college. Surprisingly, even those people you think you'd never like you end up praising simply because they're not at all bad people.

What I'll be cherishing the most about college is definitely the school. They tell you that what you love about the school is actually the people, and had you been placed somewhere else with the same people, the setting wouldn't have mattered. In my case, I owe all of the greatness to my school. The University of Asia & the Pacific has opened me up to a culture I'd gladly carry around with me even to my last breath. This institution has taught me how to speak, write, listen, learn, create, appreciate, educate, understand and most of all, leave the mind, heart and soul open for just about everything. Four years has definitely whipped me into great shape in all aspects of life and credit goes to UA&P. Here, I have come to learn that we write our own stories, weave our own destinies and most definitely change the face of life itself for my own and for others. Here, I have come to learn that you could be as limitless as you want yourself to be. And here I have come to learn that the only thing you could do is be your best for yourself and for others.

Li De Torres, editor in chief of our superb yearbook, mentioned how the design of our book was inspired by matches (or something like that) and that they believed---my talented friends who have worked day and night to publish something all of us will be keeping forever, all of us were made to be great people someday soon. The whole "trailblazing" idea is great, really and that's how I feel after having completed education and my short life in UA&P. I am definitely one of the many trailblazers this university has groomed and I'm beyond glad to have shared it with fellow trailblazers, whom I believe, will be exceeding expectations in the future.

Of course, college would never be a four-chapter ride if it weren't for all the people involved: my family, my college and high school friends, my professors and just simply everyone behind it. Sartre tells you Hell is other people. And somebody else says man can never stand alone...Maybe they're both right and maybe what they're trying to say is that you just simply couldn't live without hell. I'm kidding. No, really, university life would have been a long, snail kind of travel if it weren't for these people. College wouldn't matter if it weren't for these people and I thank them for everything, for the best and worst of times and for the love they have shared with me. 

And the most important one of all, God...All of this would never be if it weren't for Him. Thank you and I love you.

Upon our exit of collegiate life, sometime after the amazing post-grad party, you'll wake up and say it's all back to normal. Then we complain that we're bored. Then we start enjoying the bum life. Then we complain about the first day of work or not having the best boss in the world. Then we tweet about the greatest love we've found. Then we get married. Then we have kids. Then we become parents. Then we become grandparents. Then we perish, like candles long standing and burning...

...Somewhere in between, we've become what our dreams have whispered us to be: writers, models, engineers, professors, government officials, public servants, artists, poets, celebrities, race car drivers, athletes, musicians, designers, business tycoons, personalities, idols, legends... 

And while we're never sure of tomorrow, what we could reach is the fact that before all of this happens, we were once mere promises and potentials waiting for this exact exit...

To the fulfillment of promises, to putting an end to potentialities, to changing the world and to being the best we could ever be...

Congratulations my friends, for this exit we shall never forget.

See you around kids.

- Gerard

Printed Matters

In the dry afternoons of summer, what we're planning to do is to walk around, talk about whatever's worth talking about and while we're at it, take to the streets printed shirts that are as easy, cool and light as any ideal summer look ought to be. 

Welcome to a Salt exclusive shoot, featuring SM Boys' Teens Wear Department's affordable and neat summer offerings for basically everyone. Photographed by super photographer/friend Lesley Choa, one of my best friends, Tj Estrada and I have gone 'round to test the afternoon in SMBTW's printed matters.

on Tj left: Undefeated shirt,
on me right: Mickey Mouse Spray painted shirt

You might not see it, but Tj's Undefeated shirt is the perfect counterpoint to my Mickey Mouse shirt. On Tj's is a photo of a man, wearing blinders and on his head Mickey's ears, the photo rendered dark and a little moody. Hence the story of him being the bad Mickey (what with all his dark, sober colors) and I being the good Mickey (thanks to so much perked up hues).

Tj: Team Manila Klasik shirt
Me: the Daily Grind shirt

Summer's one of the best reasons to wear some shorts and to pair these basic shorts with, we chose shirts that'll draw attention, like my Daily Grind "Gai Jin" shirt and Tj's Team Manila Klasik "Salisalita sakalye ngManila TeamManila Klasik".

Me: "Teenage Stray" James Dean shirt
Tj: Charlie Chaplin shirt both by Undefeated

My idea was to give tribute to Old Hollywood icons, my idol James Dean and the ultra talented, legendary Mr. Charlie Chaplin. Tj's idea was to shoot this inspired by those models off duty and how they look like on JakandJil photos. The first one, I say is a success. The second one, is quite alright... And yes, we smoke and I drank way too much Coke for my own good. But that was the inspiration. (Tj pointed out that I should've had Coke Zero or Light but the regular one popped best on photos).

Me: "Bossing Para!" shirt by Team Manila Klasik
Tj: "A Mouthful O' Knowledge" shirt by Daily Grind

I badly wanted to play tennis that afternoon but I couldn't find a tennis ball (hahaha) and we only had one racket. As you might've guessed it, yes, the styling's intention was to sort of match things up but at the same time made sure it had contrasts. This last look both had statements on them and speech bubbles. Seeing them on their hangers didn't really make much sense other than those two similarities, but it turns out they looked so great together on photos. The colors, especially.

Visit SM Boys' Teens Wear Department's Facebook page for more information on their collections, status-as-advice posts AND most of all a chance to win 5,000 pesos weekly from SM as prize from their contest. What contest? First off, like their Facebook page. Second, check out the details on the page itself for SM's lookbook contest and search for the application. Once the dirty work's done, go ahead and get your own talented photographer or if you are one, take a photo of your self sporting at least (2) of SMBTW's pieces purchased during the promo period. Got it? Then, once you're done, upload it on SMBTW's Facebook page and make sure to gather all your friends to have them vote for your photo. If you're photo is that good and you manage to beat everyone else with the number of votes/likes you get, then you're definitely going shopping in SM and you could forget about your wallet.

Go be creative and celebrate your own style!

Thanks to Lesley Choa, Tj Estrada and SM Boy's Teens Department for the amazing clothes you've got on your shelves. Keep them coming SM. You've found new customers in us.

PEACE!

- Gerard

How's it looking (so far)

Doing the "model-off-duty" photos.
"Teenage Stray"/James Dean shirt left, Tj Estrada in Charlie Chaplin shirt all by SM Boys' Teens Wear Department
Photo by Lesley Choa

The shoot is done.

Our Salt exclusive, mini-project took place yesterday, under a pretty dizzying after lunch sun. Photographer, friend and all-round whitest girl in the world, Lesley Choa took some real great photos, most of which I never expected to look so brilliant. I was too preoccupied with sweating and making sure that we got our shots than looking at the pictures.

So, when I got them just minutes ago on my e-mail I was pretty pleased with the outcome. It was fun shopping around SM yesterday, looking for great shirts that Tj could wear along with what I've already bought. And even Tj was amazed at just how much you could find at SM Boys' Teens Wear Department. 

The photos will be up tomorrow night and all the final photos will be there. As you know, it's a shirt story and you're going to see lots of sunglasses as well since it is summer. If you haven't heard and if you haven't liked SM Boys' Teens Wear Department's Facebook page, SM is holding a contest. 

For all teenage boys out there the contest is all about you wearing at least 2 items purchased during the promotion period (which is on now) from the SM Boys' Teens Wear Department. Whatever style you swear by, it's perfectly fine. Applications will be sent soon, I believe so you could have your photos uploaded on their Facebook page and when it's that good, voters could put you on top of the entire contest. If you're the highest, you definitely win a prize (trust me, I'd want to win that prize). And the prize is no joke. It's some serious prize they're offering, so better do good. I'll be posting more details by tomorrow, so you could start your own shoot. 

As for Tj and I, well, we're pretty satisfied with what we've got, shopping from SM Boys' Teens Wear Deparment. Those shirts we bought will be on heavy rotation I tell you, during these scorching days of summer. And the photos are proof that you'd want to pile up on them for sure.

Here are more news: ROGUE has finally granted me headline space. Though I haven't got my name on it, my Chuck Taylor piece (thank you LA) made it the headlines and that's been on my wishlist for a long time, so thank you ROGUE. PLEASE grab yourselves a copy, not just cause I wrote for this issue, but because it'll blow your sucks off. It's an AMAZING cover, I promise you. Probably their best.

GOODIES magazine, the online magazine that got me as a columnist (thank you Kelvin) finally published my review of Patrik Ervell's aerial collection. Check out what GOODIES has got for you from hot ladies to music news to people worth reading about. GOODIES is all about every man's interest, trust me, it's a cool new avenue for what's great now. 

And before I bid goodnight, here are more of the outtakes from our shoot yesterday. ALL PHOTO credit goes to Lesley "Le Sizzle" Choa. Thank you Lesley, thank you Tj and thank you to SM Boys' Teens Wear Department for all the great clothing options you NOW offer everyone.

The Bad Mickey Good Mickey look.
Tj in an Undefeated shirt, TOPMAN button down, Me in a Mickey Mouse Disney shirt and H&M Button down
T-shirts from SM Boys' Teens Wear Deparment
Take note of my face. ahahahah

The sportiest we could do:
Bossing Para! shirt by Team Manila Klassik and Mouth Full O' Knowledge shirt by the Daily Grind
from SM Boys' Teens Wear Deparment
I look damn pregnant here. Tsk. hahaha...

P.S. I just might be pregnant. :))

- Gerard

The House of Glitter

I told you he's a Gaga fan...
If he could grow those freaky-cool horns/thorns on his face, he would

I just spent half of my afternoon and night with my long-time best friend, Jerich "Glitterkid" Eusebio.

The Lady Gaga, theatric-crazed, top notch nursing student has been my friend for a decade and one. A person like myself rarely gets to feel a cut when it's happening, and that's a metaphor for realizing what you have the moment it hits you. It takes me time to rejoice at great news or to suckairthroughgrittedteeth in pain. But the moment I do land at a "crispy realization" (to borrow from Bon Iver) it whips me with its tail. 

So the "Glitterkid" celebrated his birthday yesterday, his 20th in fact and claims that today, was one of his best birthday celebrations ever. I'm glad that's the case cause if there's anyone (among the very few that I deeply care for) whom I'd love to "make" happy, it's definitely him. In my short list of people I'd probably die for, he figures in that list. And out of the four very important people I've met in my Lourdes days, he's also one of them and is probably the oldest I've known too. We go wayyyyyyyyyyyy back and when we both get mushy (which he knows I'd avoid) it amazes the two of us how much we've grown together and into very different people. What's probably most brilliant about the two of us is how much we get each other but at the same time we're standing on different points of the personality spectrum. He's proud to be eccentric (at times aggressively asserting it) and I'm oddly quite reserved (very oddly...).

As an analysis to put for my relationship with Jerich, it compares to a kid growing up and going back home. He stays at home for most of his life, goes out and travels the world to pursue dreams, at times losing himself along the way, but in the end goes back home. The home as a metaphor pales compare to what Jerich and I really have. Sure we've had our giant riffs and those irritating moments, just like everybody else, but when things are mended and healed (and even when they're not), it feels awfully right. I've made my mistakes when it comes to our friendship, he has too, and friendships are never perfect anyway. 

But what Jerich has taught me is impressive. From the most mundane of things to the shared interests we take great care to exploring the depths of human life, I'll always carry them with me wherever I set sail to. Whatever he's taught me has greatly impacted my life and the way I see myself and other people. Calling him promising is an understatement. I've always looked at him as someone making an impression, if not change, in a bigger picture. We're both idealists but as we've aged, we have been tampered with by the reasonable hands of reality, and still, what he wants for himself, for his friends and for life, in general, will keep you waiting in anticipation. 

I have my expectations of him, not because I want to see him fail, but because I know he's bound to make it, if not surpass it. And just like my other best of friends, (Tj and Bob), I could never really imagine going through life without the humor, the talent, the intelligence, the acceptance and understanding, the sense of things beyond the self and the undying love he has. I always tell him that the reason why people don't see him the way I do is because they weren't allowed to, others have chosen not to...But it all boils down to pinching the world like it's a photo on an iTouch or an iPhone...In the greater, grander scheme of things, those who don't get you are but tiny specks in the picture. What should matter is just how big the spirit could get despite of these things and at the same time, staying as tiny as them in physical reality. 

Seeing and knowing him now, he's doing so much better than the ghost of his past. And I'm happy that he is, because he deserves to be happy and to be growing into the person he's supposed to be. Talking to him hours ago felt like going back home...This time, it's festive, Lady Gaga sounding, definitely smart and most of all, shining like its built on glitter.

Happy Birthday my decade-long best friend....

For dreams, for life and for future lives to come.

-Gerard

The Story Teller

This photo has always haunted me...
Paul Newman and this beautiful lady
And the results?

You know when days are just so beautiful and the things you see are just incredible that you feel like you're about to burst of inspiration? That was today...When it seemed like everything went for me....(that test, my History of Ideas test, wasn't one of them though)....

Even Laur Lim seemed to have molded well for my inspiration. Check the Institution of Style for our "couple" picture.

And finally....Here it is....

The best one we got, thank you to Lesley "Le Sizzle" Choa, who's always the patient, cool girl I love

That's a whistle...Guess what song?

Donald Duck the bag by Tj "Chort" Estrada

The "working man's" bracelet and the silver braided one from Tj "Chort" Estrada
Watch my great, Lolo Pete's
The rosary bracelet from LSM

It's not just Paul Newman's photo that figured well for me today...

It was that dream of my Lolo that visited me and influenced my sartorial choices for the day. The dream was happy, he was wearing something red and he was pointing at something that he told me he was waiting for. It seemed that when he'd visit me in my dreams he's always happy and wearing such memorable clothes, probably the reason why I've taken to loving the ones I've inherited from him more (this one I'm wearing is of course, part of that collection). And finally taking to school Tj Estrada's (as you know one of my bestest friends) birthday gift for me two years ago, the Donald Duck bag proved an amazing hit and an unexpected bit for my outfit. People loved it and I loved it even more because it had a story, one that was special for me since Tj knew exactly what I had wanted and knew that there was nothing like it out there. The bracelets too are from him...

And after seeing how our photos (meaning Laur and Mine's and of course, Lesley's masterpieces) told so much---at least for me, I realized that great relationships make great style too...

Of course, it's not my whole claim to fame, that I have great style, but I guess what I'm trying at is a conclusion that when clothes are storied well with great people as makers, givers and simply other people who have the same value for style, clothes aren't just for keeping you warm or cool or decent or even about fashion per se...They become like amazing Penguin Classics, bound by fantastic paper, worded with elegant writing and stories worth leafing through over and over again...

Too sappy? Well, that's life... So far, my favorite post for this blog...

Dedicated to my late great Grandfather, Lesley the master lensman, Laur the "quirky" half of our "quirky" couple and of course, Tj, one among my bestest, most promising tastemaker friends ever...

NOW, I can sleep well. (hahaha).

-Gerard

#3

"I want to remember us they way we are now..." Daisy The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

We used to live in the province, at the end of Bicol in my dad's parents' house where it occupied an entire lot near the beach. My mom had a tennis court built there once fitting perfectly inside the "L" the rest house and the real house formed. It's beautiful now that I look back at it. 

I once loathed living in the province but as I grew older I learned to appreciate the peace of the countryside. It was beautiful because it had such space and could house a party of friends. The rest house was built of seemingly weak materials like some wood and narra, but stands up to this very day. Its ten room, almost limitless capacity to sit and sleep people faced the two fish ponds we had and, as they loved to call it, the South China Sea. The house, a pentagon at the heart of this major lot was a bungalow that brought in cool winds during summer evenings. The rest was of a sand plus soil kind of ground that had trees and plants housing "spirits" and what have you. 1998 we moved here, in the city in my mom's parents' house and have been here since then. 

After visiting a number of awesome beach houses my friends have, it takes me back to that small portion of my childhood when we lived in Bicol and had so little care of the surroundings. A visit to the beach was fun, but not so much a spiritual experience. Now, I dream of building for my family and friends a beach house somewhere here in the country, in the future. There's a quiet and big amount of humbling nature gives you when you get the chance to touch it or experience it and that's exactly what I've been hungry for lately. 

All I want is a simple house by the sea that could shelter my friends and my family and even though I'm not much of a swimmer, just being by the sea and disengaging myself from this world with the people I love is a rewarding time. 

There's that scene in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button where Daisy and Benjamin sit by their beachfront property and they watch the sun rise from across the waters...It was so beautiful and so touching that I placed it upon myself to make sure that when I do get the money for it, I'd build that house for me and my loved ones, just so we get to experience time that's worth looking back to.

This figures into my wishlist not just cause of myself, but because I've badly wanted to give friends and family a break from all the troubles of life...It's so saccharine and sappy, but I love them and if I had the power to give them this, soon, I'd give it as a gift for Christmas. We all deserve some peace too and recovery from being, well, sometimes, ourselves too much.

Three more days 'till Christmas and I am sooo excited! I wish you all the happiest times! And don't worry, soon, I'll take you to my beach house and we'll listen to Open Season by High Highs on our way there....So indie, but it's actually a handsome song.

-Gerard

The Smile

I really, really like this photo....It's real candid and really nice.

I rarely go out to party and when I do, I always pull that smile, that awkward, unflattering smile that would always pop up on all the photos I have.

If it's not that smile, it's the pout, which I think does me better.

If it's not the pout, it's me talking with my hands somewhere near my face...I love my hands and maybe that says a lot and why they always figure into a photo.

Point is, Josine Protasio's birthday celebration was amazing. For someone like me who rarely goes to things like these, it means a lot when I say it was that amazing. Thank you to her!

Enjoy checking out pictures of me and my hot girl friends...which includes Tj of course.

Photos courtesy of Bella.

-Gerard

My Family

Oh so saturated and happy and pretty...Worthy of a Tumblr reblog.

Put this on Tumblr, then place all your Tumblr-iffic quotes and what have you and it's all good.

This is my college family, one that'll most likely last for more years and decades after this final stretch of tertiary education. They say in the real world you'll find lots of friends, meet lots of people, but probably find so little "real" in them...I'm happy that I was gifted with great friends since elementary to college, cause these ones, are real people, the kinds that are rare to come by.

I love you guys and this is no post to get sentimental or super sappy over yet...When we do get the final picture, when we're say, days before graduation (Lord, let us graduate) that'll be the picture to get all pancake syruppy on.

In the meantime, cheers to the coolest, most beautiful and real people you'll ever find in the world, or at least, this side of it.

P.S. First photo up top was from second year college, then third year for the two in the middle and then at the bottom was taken today...

I need a fucking haircut.

-Gerard

Let's Get Personal

Inspiration: Kris Van Assche's Fall 2010 Collection

And, my look. I look like I'm having a headache. 

But I was in a good mood that day.

All amazing photos by Lesley Choa

I have this amazing project for Institution of Style coming out, hopefully, next week. It's called Style Diaries, which will feature personally handpicked friends and schoolmates whom I believe are among our university's most stylish personalities and I am all excited now that I have seen the first three people I've chosen and asked to be featured for my blog. To you three, you know who you are, you guys are incredibly so stylish, so kind and always such a pleasure to keep honoring, especially for people like me who are huge spectators of well-dressed men and women. I have seen your photos and your looks and they always make me smile. Congratulations for having style that's worth more than just blogspace.

If I had power and money, I'd do a book for them, ala Sartorialist. It's not cause I'm copying Scott Schuman and all the others out there, but it's more of understanding where these famous bloggers and photographers are coming from: seeing people with well-defined styles is more than just ogling at handsome clothes, it's a sneak peek into these people and what they believe in, a fraction of who they are and a look into culture and the times. And while clicking through their photos, it made me appreciate my own style, one that's always so simple, so reserved and not as adventurous as others. I don't know, the people I chose to feature are pretty impressive stylists in their own right and their styles are truly different from each other and from mine, which highlights the beauty of personal style. One's all keen on details, preppy most of the time and polished to a T, one's affair with music shines through her choices of accessories and gutsy chic pieces and one's all elegant, expensive but truly unassuming and relateable...And they inspire me to keep my style the way it is cause it's my own.

As for me, well I'm still eyeing some things I want to treasure in my closet, and I'll probably always stick to being the "feel" dresser and always being simple. Besides, I do that best, than any other style I know of. Right? Anyway, I've been wanting to do a Kris Van Assche Fall 2010 look for quite sometime now, and I literally copied it...Well, not exactly literally, but you do see the resemblance a lot. Since I feel most comfortable in an ensemble like this one (which you know is my lazy look) I knew that what Kris Van Assche had for Fall 2010 would work most definitely for me. Yeah just say it, it's boring and pretty dark, but I like how the collection looked. To me, it's straight to the point, unfussy, masculine and quite tough.

Speaking of spotting, style and people, Poj Lim, one of my closest girl friends ever, has finally landed on our spotting radar. She tells me it's her dream to be spotted, which I think is a joke, but I spotted her anyway cause what she wore during this day (Thursday), was very now what with its color and also it looked really nice on her: plain, but respectable and quite sexy actually. Krisha Vizmonte was there cause her classroom was on the floor we took pictures at, and while Lesley, the always reliable Lesley Choa, was there with me, Poj decided to take advantage of the perfect situation to have our pictures taken. And like all other pictures with these close friends, it'll always end up all laughing and noisy and chaotic, but we manage to take good photographs. So to Lesley, thank you, as always and to Poj and Krisha, we guys have to hire Lesley to take our barkada picture next week, since that would be our last, group picture EVER...Now I'm getting all sentimental, and probably red is a good color to "end" our college life. Why? Well, I don't know. It just felt like it made sense. 

The three-step photo shoot to happiness: 

Krisha abusing my chest and Poj hugging "too low". 

I love these ladies so much, it's funny.

HERE, comes the plugging part:

My IMC friends have asked me to do them a favor, one I still couldn't understand but for sure, they want you, if you study at our school, to head down to Philly's for some special treat. I think it's all about refilling, something. Anyway, my super duper close girl friend Cindy is the model of that campaign and though it's not Gucci, you better support Cindy's modeling career and my IMC friends.

Second, one of the BEST gifts you could give me is buying yourselves copies of MONDAY magazine for November-December 2010 AND also ROGUE's December 2010-January 2011 issues. I have contributed to these awesome magazines and I will appreciate it if you read my works...Again, without the fabulous editors who have asked for my work, these great things wouldn't be possible. So thank you, thank you to them and thank God for always, always making me happy.

-Gerard

Thanksgiving's Hmmm Post

I look so tall here. Do you like this look better than my other, same sweater post?

Photos by Lesley Choa

It's Thanksgiving today and even if we're not in America, it still felt like it cause my mom had something special for dinner: Shake N Bake. It's not turkey and there's no stuffing, but just cause it's Shake N Bake, it's special... And I told her that I was excited for dinner tonight, especially when we stopped by the grocery this morning to get the "supplies". I've been in love with food lately and knowing myself, I have to control my love for it. I get addictive and a little excessive on things I start to love and if I don't control that, we know the result...Gaining weight is just part of it, and not really a bad end, but what most unnerves me is being weak and giving in to such whims. If there's one thing I don't like about myself (or anyone for that matter) it's my tendency to lose control. I'm no control freak, but I believe that moderation is one of the finest things we should master in life. Too much of anything is bad and too little is just the same. And besides, being human gives you all the power of control over yourself...Reason why I frown upon people who blame others for being a certain way. There are those I know who resign to weakness by pointing fingers--- I myself have slapped my face hard from such inklings when I was young and I'm trying my best to be my own man. I do understand that it is natural to want to put the weight on somebody else for things that don't go as planned, but when you reach a mature point, you would want to have the balls to say, "okay I'm not healthy anymore, I have to control it", or "I'm being  such an ugly person, I have to stop being this way"....Goodness, the stretch  from thanksgiving to food to self-control to philosophy. 

Anyway, enough about that. I want to thank two special people for making my week an interesting and happy one: Thanks to the Choa sisters, Lesley, whom you know very well, and to her sister, Greta (as her Twitter account reads) Choa-Uy. Greta, treated us to lunch last Wednesday, even when I insisted to pay for it. Thank you for that short lunch cause I had fun, learned so much about the advertising agency, Cary Santiago (my favorite topic), their plans, my plans, traveling, Cebuano culture, Gavin Uy, the cutest baby I've seen in a while, Madonna, London, Kate Middleton's wedding to who else and most of all, being a best friend to Derek Ramsey and vise versa. If you were there you'd laugh and learn and that's basically how lunch should be spent: sweat-free, if it's possible, funny and educational and yummy! I hope I see Greta soon cause she's such a character.And of course, Lesley, my dear, dear friend who's always taking such wonderful photos for me and for herself and for the school and for everyone else...

It's nice to meet new people and that's one thing on my to-do list for next year: meet new people, make better friends out of acquaintances and try to be friendly and establish important ties with people. I've had so many friends since I was young and having more is most definitely an inexpensive way of enjoying life. Also one reason to be thankful for. Sooooo....Thank you to my friends for being such great investments. You will always be loved. 

There are so much more things to be thankful for, a batrillion of it in fact, and one of them, just to drive home a stylish point, is to thank God for giving me able feet. I love how my legs look trim here in this photo and I credit that to the art of running (which I have to get back to soon). Without my nice, able feet, running would never be possible, walking and a lot more other things would never be possible too, and of course, nice shoes and jeans and all the aesthetics involved wouldn't be possible...And my height too would never be possible without feet. It sounds funny, but it's cause it's a realization hitting me "now lang". Thank you God for everything else.

Happy Thanksgiving kids! If you have turkey, I'm so jealous. But at this time, 9 something, you should be sipping your hot tea...cause 9's too late for dinner. Right? Oh well. 

P.S. Check out Preview's latest issue, it's posted below and also prepare yourself to fall in love with Heart and Inno Sotto's magic (if you haven't seen this video).

-Gerard

Moody's Mood for Love

The look of love...is definitely a batrillion times better than this.

Thank you Lesley for the photo

To Dear Mr. John Mayer...You know you ought to do a record of covers, Sinatra covers to be exact. I watched him sing Glad to be Unhappy with Chris Botti and he's pure magic, probably better than his cover of In The Wee Small Hours of the morning. I believe he'd do great covering more Sinatra songs, I just hope he gets the best people to do the album with. Anyway, Glad to be Unhappy I could say, was me, probably, five week ago, when I had that awfully too realistic view on life and thanks to Sinatra, he's got us covered:

Look at yourself, if you had a sense of humor 

You would laugh to beat the band

Look at yourself, do you still believe the rumor

That romance is simply grand?

.....

Fools rush in, so here I am

Very glad to be unhappy

I can't win, but here I am

More than glad to be unhappy

Unrequited love's a bore

And I've got it pretty bad

But for someone you adore

More than glad to be unhappy 

And it doesn't help that kids my age are in different states of claimed depression about lost love, losing love, love...plainly love and all its complex webs. When all the smoke's gone and you've been single or more attune to your sense for pretty much a year or two, you'll come to your own and suddenly this tumultuous chase for love---whatever form it is, seems, not really unnecessary but rather, timely. And it deserves the time too.

I'm probably one of the few persons, if you get lucky or deserve it, that'd give you the advice of "feeling it". I've gone through my lot of troubles and I honestly don't like it when people tell me to "think positive" or "don't be that way". We want to hear what we want to hear and if you're like me, what I want to hear is the truth. I want to be told that I am senseless and juvenile and pathetic. It hurts a lot but it works. Cause after that you get to pull yourself from the mess and look at it, as if you're rising above it. I don't want to hear people telling me "you should be ashamed of yourself" all the time, but when phrased better, I wouldn't mind hearing it if I deserve it. Not all of life's a dream anyway, we spend more of it awake and I believe that's when life really happens.

I've talked to friends lately and they've been ranting about, some get teary-eyed Jesus bless your souls, their love lives and how the interplay of different personalities and maturity levels are all on the table ready for discussion and it saddens me to hear it. And as I've mentioned before, this is love...You lose it, win it. And most of all, you feel it when it's time for feeling it. We usually don't want to be sad right? And the natural tendency is to flee and lose ourselves in those happy, jumpy times with friends. But sometimes, it helps to face it and soak yourself in it when necessary. When your heart starts going like a vacuum, as if at your spine it's metaphorically there but it's literally not, shut yourself in, close the blinds and let that vacuum suck you dry. You're human and you get tired...When you finally do, go out, have breakfast and move on. But most of all, you're human and more powerful than words could ever say, so you have control over these things. Believe me.

My project for myself is too give time for every feeling I have. I've been down during the sem break and I let it rip me, not consume me. Now I'm all middle and it's nice. Soon, I'll be on my toes, eager to jump high with a beaming smile on my face cause I'm happy. It's not being schizo or bipolar, cause those are two far more different things, it's more like allotting time for everything. Five weeks ago, I would've been living the Glad to be Unhappy life, now I'm appreciating it, but maybe three weeks later, I'm all You Make Me Feel So Young or Moody's Mood for Love, who knows right? But since I am old enough and has some good past to account for knowing a little something (not everything), I now believe that feeling fat, depressed, lost, uninspired, in love, loved, falling out of it, looking for it, are all timely things that I should immerse myself in. When I get tired, and when I've maxed out the right amount of time for feeling things, I'll let go, learn and take a new step into a new  song or experience or emotion.

Actually, this post is dedicated to (not just me) but to a friend who's feeling down...I suggest you let this one bite at you, nibble at your soul a little and when you feel like it's boring you or pathetic or eating you up to the core, step out of it cause you're actually the only one person who could make these things happen. Allow these days to enter you and open your doors when they've done their job...Life's too short, escaping it by sleeping is full of shit, you know that.

-Gerard

 

Wha?

Bryle: I'm dizzy, but I have to look nice.

Me: It's Biggest Loser Time, It's Daddy's Favorite show...

Photo by Mr. Aaron "AA" (as I love to call him) Articulo

Bryle, whatever it is you're feeling, I'm sure we have a solution for that...

And as for my face...Well, I say I like my face looking quite surprised.

Candid photos are better sometimes.

P.S. AA, I'm hoping for more, better photos to come....Thank you, always the best.

-Gerard

As Nets & High-wire Walkers

CINDY, one of closest girl friends ever...

not such a nice photo of me, but the rest I like.

photos by Lesley Choa

Time wouldn't be too proud of me today, cause I practically wasted it.

It felt like a long half-shut eyed day: went home at 4:30 am, slept for an hour, had breakfast, watched The Notebook (cried to it to), slept from 9 something to 12 something, lunch, watched TV, ate again, slept for a few minutes and then grabbed some dinner, then watched some TV again...See how awful that is. I already have homework and I haven't even touched my school stuff. Well, I blame all this to one of my bestest, oldest friends' 21st birthday...Bobbsy! hahaha...

We had a great time. He treated us dinner and we helped Tj ease himself into a possible career in cooking, thanks to Mini/Healthy Shabu-Shabu's ways. After that it was off to Julia Vargas to get drunk...well, not really, but to drink.

The moment I sat down, I grabbed whatever was drinkable and within a few moments I was dead poisoned. Still not the ugly kind, how you don't know what you're doing anymore. I was pretty sensible still and I realized that if I drink a lot more alcohol than my usual intake at parties or wherever, I make incredible sense at philosophizing about life, even when the world seems like it's tipping or moving. It was awful nice to see other close friends get drunk last night cause they're funny. But the most amazing thing about yesterday, wasn't really about getting drunk.

As I've mentioned before, I've been feeling down lately cause of insecurities about, well, life and stuff and after getting to talk to close friends like Jemma and some of my best friends it made complete sense that just like Henry and Clare of Niffenegger's The Time Traveler's Wife, good friends are comfortable nets under all our high-wire walking...That, by the way is one of the best lines I've read in ages:

"Our love has been the thread through the labyrinth, the net under the high-walker, the only real thing in this strange life of mine that I could ever trust." ---Audrey Niffeneger, The Time Traveler's Wife

And just like real best friends, Tj and Bob are also on the same, melancholic boat I've been sailing in for a few days now. I couldn't spill everything here cause it's rude, AND there's just too much to talk about when I go into the deepest details of our problems. So while we were recovering, slowly, from all the alcohol, we were talking about the questions of life and all human sentiments that I know each and everyone of us have gone through. And last night, I proved that the search for the "all-important-you-to-love" shouldn't eat us all up as if it's the only relationship worth living for (cause I'm guilty of it and I know most of us are). Sometimes, well, most of the time, we take close friends for granted for whatever reasons we unconsciously have, and it'll slap you right across the face that when all things fail, when your family treats you like crap sometimes, when your love life's taken to hell and when you're not just happy about who you are and what you have, the good friends, the great ones are always there, spread wide and strong underneath you, always available to catch you when you get clumsy or lose balance. And it's a beautiful thing, having friends. When you do find the greatest ones you're destined to be with, friendships don't crumble or quake.

In my case, one of the things I've been longing for in my young life was approval from people, to hear the important ones tell me that they're proud of who I am and what I've done and will do. I'm thankful my family's like that and I'm more thankful that my friends are just as supportive. Like Frank, who was literally floating last night cause of all the drinking, told us how much he took pride in our successes and of the people we are. At the end of all our pathetic episodes, our friends are always there to punch your face when you're being impossible, hug you when you need it, tell you the funniest crap you want to hear and most of all, just be there to be that handsome net under all your crazy, high-wire walking.

And I, of course, am a denim jacket wearing (I have to plug this, so the photo above makes sense and as a thank you to my lovely sister for the gift!) bobblehead who'll be the strongest, loving, try to be the most rational net for all my other close, awesome and perfect high-wire walker friends. Now, it's one of the best things I could do...Be a great friend to those who need it.

Soooo....To my beautiful, handsome and perfect, perfect friends....I love you all.

I wish we could all have more time to be young and bond and go crazy. And, thanks for keeping me sane. Cause lately, sanity has been really hard to win back.

PLUG: Please get a copy of MONDAY magazine, it's finally out. My first work for the magazine is featured in their latest issue, the Excess issue Nov-Dec 2010. Check out the contributor's page for a short profile of all of the contributors and the pages of our works. The title of my work is "From Savile Row to Starbucks". Again, thank you Conch for the assignment. It's my mom's most favorite yet.

-Gerard

Man About Town

It's thick and it's clean and it's Man About Town

One (among two) of my favorite photographers, whose probably on her way to making it big anytime soon, Lesley, brought AND bought me Man About Town from Singapore.

I really wanted a copy cause for me, the cover summarized the mood of the year...And I never had any copy of Man About Town. She checked my wishlist before so she could get me something and it's the sweetest, heartwarming thing ever.

I told her I'll make sure I get her something this Christmas and I'm a man of my words. Plus, she deserves it. Lesley's one of the nicest people I know in school and nice people deserve gifts. She's also a friend of mine and I'm really excited (and pressured) to get her something...I was feeling a little down today, thanks to that awful dream and some other issues and receiving a gift just makes everything a little better. But actually, even though it's all cheesy, the idea really counts more than the actual thing. Just to be remembered is awfully nice to know. Don't you worry Leszles, I will give back real soon.

THANK YOU!!!!

BIG CHUNKY HUG!

So happy. :D

-Gerard