23

Woke up to these. Thank you Joanne, my sistah!
(my photo)

This birthday is one for the books. The last time I enjoyed this much was probably back in high school. And today, on my 23rd birthday, I could honestly claim that I do feel a year younger than when I turned 22. Like all new chapters in life, I face mine with a beating heart and a little mental note to keep for every waking minute God gives me: Whatever happens Gerard, you'll be alright. Last night, while most of my friends were laughing, forcing down shots and having a great time-like they do in movies, I took a second to drink it all in and I told myself, whatever happens Gerard, you'll be alright...And you'll be happy.

I came to realize that in whatever kind of slump you're in, you will always choose to be happy. It's been said and done before and you'll be living episodes that'll leave no space for a smile, but you'll get over, you'll move on and you'll find happiness in it...whatever happens. It's how it is and it's how it should be. For a person like myself who's been constantly hard on himself for ages, giving me the gift of happiness and the understanding that not all things are under my control, is what I've been asking God for. And of course the wish and guidance for doing better, being smarter and being a good person not only for myself, but for others most of all. 

For 23 years, God has been giving me everything I need and asked for. Last night and today proved that. This year, I've received amazing greetings, more serious and touching ones that I'll remember forever. It is inspiring to read each one, even when they're awfully simple. And for the first time in a long time, I've finally felt happy over the fact that I had nothing to unwrap. All my life, I look forward to my birthday because I want a gift, something I can hold and watch catch dust in the next months, years to come...And I'm glad I finally got over that. I guess material gifts don't appeal to me now as much as they did once.

Now, I'm happy just to see everybody coming together and spending time with them. After last night, I also asked God if it was okay to have everyday a gathering of sorts, or like a mini party until we all just got tired of each other. We'd probably all be broke by the end of the month, but hey, at least we have great friends, family and people to be with right? Cheesy, but in billions of lifetimes ago and beyond, it's a fact. I guess the years and the lessons will always paint you in shinier suit, something that dresses you up in a maturer mindset but a younger look. Your dreams grow bigger in a realistic sense, your wants trim down and lose some necessary weight, you know how to choose happiness and you somehow understand now what it means to be a little bit selfless, if not entirely selfless.

Thank you to everyone who made my day extra special. You all made me realize that I have some sense of purpose in this world just by greeting me on my birthday. I'm the kind of person who appreciates the little things. And it touches me that for people to spend at least 5 seconds just to greet you on your birthday already means so much to me. I will always remember who you are, especially those who have made my 23 years on Earth fantastic. Wherever you may be in the near and distant future, each one of you will have a space in my small heart and somewhere out there, wherever I may be, is a prayer and a wish of only the best for you.

Couldn't be thankful enough. I never knew turning 23 would feel this good. Now, off to choosing happiness, finishing Harry Potter and finally getting some sleep.

Dear Universe/God, thanks a lot, I owe you!

- Gerard

At 22

Thanks Wanda for the photo.
Pretty great for my rep. hahaha

I'm young. That's what I keep telling myself, since the clock stroke 12. It's not an issue of, say, failure of acceptance of an age. I just couldn't believe I'm 22. That's two decades and two years. For me, that's old. Imagine burning a candle for twenty two years....Okay, I'm borrowing from Tolstoy, and it doesn't summarize or actually justify the phrase. The general feeling is of pressure...When pressure takes hold of a technically "young" age. :))

I have already met so many successful people at such young ages and mind you, not all of them got to where they are now because of connections. They've worked hard and yet are in their late 20s to early 30s just wearing t-shirts and handsome rose gold Rolexes. Had this been me, a few years ago, I would've been all "oh, that's just so tacky and shit" but I've come to realize that you reward yourself things you deserve and things you work hard for. I may not reward myself with a rose gold Rolex even if I could afford it at 32, because it's not my style at all, but I will reward myself with other things. 

Point is, I am deeply pressured to prove myself---just to put it lightly, capable of doing things and making things happen. I am more afraid of failure now than I've ever been before. I wish I could honestly say that there is no room for failure. But I know failure will be part of success. It's real. And it's in the real world. And at 22, I understand the real world they keep telling you about in college and in high school. And my pressure, isn't just because I want to afford things or because I want to be the name they  drop in the future. It's honestly, nothing like that. It's really more of influence and having the ability to turn dreams into realities (my talents' and my own included). So, this is the pressure.

This is the pressure of a 22 year old somebody, whose birthday photo is of him drinking. Well, I am young, anyway, right? I'm kidding. What does keep me young is my book of names and faces who actually give a damn about me and my turning a year older. I make sure that I greet people I'm friends with on Facebook, no matter what time it is and no matter if we really do talk or not. What matters to me is that they were born on that day. So to everybody who's greeted me, a sincere and huge thank you for giving my Facebook wall its much needed love. Seeing tweets and private messages and text messages just coming in, keeps my heart light. Of course I give my extra thanks and huge love to my closest friends and to my family. They just never fail to show me and tell me that I matter. Like I said before, all we actually ever need is a single person who believes in you, and I always, always thank God that I've got lots (I could name them all, but that'd take up the entire blog).

So, while the pressure keeps me half-stressed and half-inspired, I am all smiles and grateful for 22 years of life. It's not the perfect life, but it's mine and I'd never trade it for anyone else's. I am happy. I believe I've blown about 5-6 birthday candles on different birthday cakes for the week and I've been consistent about one, heart-felt wish. 

Just more of life, more real friends and family to love. 

Only after comes the noisy and big dream for success...

Thank you everyone for making today the 22nd best day of my life. AND for making me feel young...

- Gerard