Sunday, October 16, 2011

At 22

Thanks Wanda for the photo.
Pretty great for my rep. hahaha

I'm young. That's what I keep telling myself, since the clock stroke 12. It's not an issue of, say, failure of acceptance of an age. I just couldn't believe I'm 22. That's two decades and two years. For me, that's old. Imagine burning a candle for twenty two years....Okay, I'm borrowing from Tolstoy, and it doesn't summarize or actually justify the phrase. The general feeling is of pressure...When pressure takes hold of a technically "young" age. :))

I have already met so many successful people at such young ages and mind you, not all of them got to where they are now because of connections. They've worked hard and yet are in their late 20s to early 30s just wearing t-shirts and handsome rose gold Rolexes. Had this been me, a few years ago, I would've been all "oh, that's just so tacky and shit" but I've come to realize that you reward yourself things you deserve and things you work hard for. I may not reward myself with a rose gold Rolex even if I could afford it at 32, because it's not my style at all, but I will reward myself with other things. 

Point is, I am deeply pressured to prove myself---just to put it lightly, capable of doing things and making things happen. I am more afraid of failure now than I've ever been before. I wish I could honestly say that there is no room for failure. But I know failure will be part of success. It's real. And it's in the real world. And at 22, I understand the real world they keep telling you about in college and in high school. And my pressure, isn't just because I want to afford things or because I want to be the name they  drop in the future. It's honestly, nothing like that. It's really more of influence and having the ability to turn dreams into realities (my talents' and my own included). So, this is the pressure.

This is the pressure of a 22 year old somebody, whose birthday photo is of him drinking. Well, I am young, anyway, right? I'm kidding. What does keep me young is my book of names and faces who actually give a damn about me and my turning a year older. I make sure that I greet people I'm friends with on Facebook, no matter what time it is and no matter if we really do talk or not. What matters to me is that they were born on that day. So to everybody who's greeted me, a sincere and huge thank you for giving my Facebook wall its much needed love. Seeing tweets and private messages and text messages just coming in, keeps my heart light. Of course I give my extra thanks and huge love to my closest friends and to my family. They just never fail to show me and tell me that I matter. Like I said before, all we actually ever need is a single person who believes in you, and I always, always thank God that I've got lots (I could name them all, but that'd take up the entire blog).

So, while the pressure keeps me half-stressed and half-inspired, I am all smiles and grateful for 22 years of life. It's not the perfect life, but it's mine and I'd never trade it for anyone else's. I am happy. I believe I've blown about 5-6 birthday candles on different birthday cakes for the week and I've been consistent about one, heart-felt wish. 

Just more of life, more real friends and family to love. 
Only after comes the noisy and big dream for success...

Thank you everyone for making today the 22nd best day of my life. AND for making me feel young...

- Gerard

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