Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The Lift (and #'s 4& 5)

Shia Labeouf with his wrist tattoo "1986-2004"

There was something quite life-changing that affected the way I see things right after that time, when suddenly being tough and feeling like you're destined to be a soldier meant everything to me. Up to this very day, being the weakling that I am, I anchor myself onto the past just so that I learn to face things with a different (and hopefully wiser) perspective when they hit me. Mind you, I am not stuck in it, I just remind myself constantly about it, since it will teach you a lot of things.
I understand why life, after some point, starts turning all schizophrenic and at the core if it, it seems like a fight for something---whatever it is you're fighting for, and being a fighter, I needed to be tough. 

To put in clearer terms, having founded myself for a while on dreams and youth, and being "promising" while it mattered will get you somewhere, but it'll probably put you in a comma for sometime when time and the rest of the world you thought was yours start turning their backs on you...So, just like most of us, I had to grow up. I had to pull myself from it all and land on top of a sturdier plane, where things are clearer, less dreamy sure, but at least real. 

Now, it hits me that the reason why I'm so keen on Dr. Mar's "Lift" is because it related to me as a personal triumph. I've heard so many stories about people's lives and it's inevitable (and thank God it is) that the ones who live to tell, have resurrected from their deaths because they lifted themselves up. Lift, may be a consideration of the flight of birds , and it sure is, but it could mean a personal triumph...At least, for me. This was a victory after a war...I could've died had I let it kill me (and by "it" I mean the summation of all the things I've gone through for two decades...Lord knows just how much) and I'd never live to tell the tale. That's probably why I couldn't let the idea go of having it tattooed on my right wrist, even when I'm the biggest coward in the world. 

Shia Labeouf has one interesting inked on his wrist, Katy Perry's "Jesus" too is another. In a shallow point of view, it's adding more to personal style, right? Not everyone has the balls to have it on them. I only dream of having it on...Throw me emotional, not physical kinds of pain, I'm game, but having a tattoo, I'd probably faint...I could already imagine the pain and I'm screaming right now...And also, laughing at myself for even thinking about it (cause I am but a big dreamer), but it haunts me, really. I could really see it on my wrist and in ten or twenty years from now probably won't regret having it...But someday I will, I don't know...

Anyway, the point is, I do dream of one day having the guts to go up to wherever it is people get inked and really have it on me. It is a gift, I believe (that's why it's on my "12 Days of Christmas" special). As I've said, it is a personal triumph and my "Lift" will keep me reminded of the past and life being one big hell of a battle and in the end, it's all worth it cause it's beautiful and after every war, you have the choice to lift yourself up, higher and closer to a point where the Earth is this close to meeting the Heavens, without ever leaving the physical. 

Back to shallow, more relatable terms, one of the reasons too why a tattoo on the right wrist has appeal to me is because I find it sexy. I am the last person you'll ever think of when "sexy" pops in and I feel like I've been the expected type for a long time, having a tattoo that goes with a hefty story takes all the predictability in me and would make me sexy. Pathetic. But hey, it's an honest evaluation of my shallow self...Who wouldn't want to be sexy, right?

And to add to that, throw in my dream watch, a Cartier Santos-Dumont in black and pink gold for that classic meets "so he's kinda edgy pala, I didn't know" effect. Imagine the leather strap disturbing the long, elegant lines of a tattoo? THAT is a beauty...

At least, the Cartier, I'm sure I'm getting sometime in the future when I could actually afford it and not loan my soul to the devil. The tattoo, is one of the highest, current dreams I have and if I really do, one day, get so drunk and wasted, someone please sedate me, or in short just mess up with my body and give me the tattoo, just the way I like it, all cursive and handsome on my  wrist...That would be a weak "lift"...Oh well, 'till the day I grow some extra, extra courage for it....

-Gerard

No comments:

Post a Comment