Moody's Mood for Love

The look of love...is definitely a batrillion times better than this.

Thank you Lesley for the photo

To Dear Mr. John Mayer...You know you ought to do a record of covers, Sinatra covers to be exact. I watched him sing Glad to be Unhappy with Chris Botti and he's pure magic, probably better than his cover of In The Wee Small Hours of the morning. I believe he'd do great covering more Sinatra songs, I just hope he gets the best people to do the album with. Anyway, Glad to be Unhappy I could say, was me, probably, five week ago, when I had that awfully too realistic view on life and thanks to Sinatra, he's got us covered:

Look at yourself, if you had a sense of humor 

You would laugh to beat the band

Look at yourself, do you still believe the rumor

That romance is simply grand?

.....

Fools rush in, so here I am

Very glad to be unhappy

I can't win, but here I am

More than glad to be unhappy

Unrequited love's a bore

And I've got it pretty bad

But for someone you adore

More than glad to be unhappy 

And it doesn't help that kids my age are in different states of claimed depression about lost love, losing love, love...plainly love and all its complex webs. When all the smoke's gone and you've been single or more attune to your sense for pretty much a year or two, you'll come to your own and suddenly this tumultuous chase for love---whatever form it is, seems, not really unnecessary but rather, timely. And it deserves the time too.

I'm probably one of the few persons, if you get lucky or deserve it, that'd give you the advice of "feeling it". I've gone through my lot of troubles and I honestly don't like it when people tell me to "think positive" or "don't be that way". We want to hear what we want to hear and if you're like me, what I want to hear is the truth. I want to be told that I am senseless and juvenile and pathetic. It hurts a lot but it works. Cause after that you get to pull yourself from the mess and look at it, as if you're rising above it. I don't want to hear people telling me "you should be ashamed of yourself" all the time, but when phrased better, I wouldn't mind hearing it if I deserve it. Not all of life's a dream anyway, we spend more of it awake and I believe that's when life really happens.

I've talked to friends lately and they've been ranting about, some get teary-eyed Jesus bless your souls, their love lives and how the interplay of different personalities and maturity levels are all on the table ready for discussion and it saddens me to hear it. And as I've mentioned before, this is love...You lose it, win it. And most of all, you feel it when it's time for feeling it. We usually don't want to be sad right? And the natural tendency is to flee and lose ourselves in those happy, jumpy times with friends. But sometimes, it helps to face it and soak yourself in it when necessary. When your heart starts going like a vacuum, as if at your spine it's metaphorically there but it's literally not, shut yourself in, close the blinds and let that vacuum suck you dry. You're human and you get tired...When you finally do, go out, have breakfast and move on. But most of all, you're human and more powerful than words could ever say, so you have control over these things. Believe me.

My project for myself is too give time for every feeling I have. I've been down during the sem break and I let it rip me, not consume me. Now I'm all middle and it's nice. Soon, I'll be on my toes, eager to jump high with a beaming smile on my face cause I'm happy. It's not being schizo or bipolar, cause those are two far more different things, it's more like allotting time for everything. Five weeks ago, I would've been living the Glad to be Unhappy life, now I'm appreciating it, but maybe three weeks later, I'm all You Make Me Feel So Young or Moody's Mood for Love, who knows right? But since I am old enough and has some good past to account for knowing a little something (not everything), I now believe that feeling fat, depressed, lost, uninspired, in love, loved, falling out of it, looking for it, are all timely things that I should immerse myself in. When I get tired, and when I've maxed out the right amount of time for feeling things, I'll let go, learn and take a new step into a new  song or experience or emotion.

Actually, this post is dedicated to (not just me) but to a friend who's feeling down...I suggest you let this one bite at you, nibble at your soul a little and when you feel like it's boring you or pathetic or eating you up to the core, step out of it cause you're actually the only one person who could make these things happen. Allow these days to enter you and open your doors when they've done their job...Life's too short, escaping it by sleeping is full of shit, you know that.

-Gerard