Dear Mr. O'pry
I have been bothered by your face for the past years. After seeing you donning that mouse cap with your icy blue eyes penetrating black and white film, I asked myself, why does life kick you up your ass with a face like that? It's so unfair.
Now, you're just everywhere and that's because you're f-ing number two in the world of male modeling. I still wonder why you're not number one cause you basically are the face of our generation. I mean, you book all those heavy campaigns and walk the great walks at fashion week. And I bet my non-existent behind on it that even if people don't know your super cool name, they know your extremely good-looking face.
Seriously, can you please stop melting everybody with your smoldering looks and stop making those perfect lip openings all the time? Some of us here get extremely insecure when it comes to the looks department.
Basically, I just want to be your friend and stare at you until my own eyes turn icy blue. I still dream of that day when I'd wake up and be like "Jesus Christ, my face is O'pry's face". Then again, God gave me a good one (in my opinion) and if ever I do get your face, I'd probably never leave the mirror.
It's all sarcasm you know and hopefully one day, when I'm GQ editor in chief and you're about my age, you'd be on the cover of every issue of GQ, in all possible decent poses and chic clothes and I'd tell you to continue pouting so that sales would go up reach heaven.
Keep melting us all, Mr. O'pry for yours is the face of new American male beauty. You should start campaigning for number one now AND next President of the United States of America.
You're just too handsome, that's all.
photo: Male Model Scene