CINDY, one of closest girl friends ever...
not such a nice photo of me, but the rest I like.
photos by Lesley Choa
Time wouldn't be too proud of me today, cause I practically wasted it.
It felt like a long half-shut eyed day: went home at 4:30 am, slept for an hour, had breakfast, watched The Notebook (cried to it to), slept from 9 something to 12 something, lunch, watched TV, ate again, slept for a few minutes and then grabbed some dinner, then watched some TV again...See how awful that is. I already have homework and I haven't even touched my school stuff. Well, I blame all this to one of my bestest, oldest friends' 21st birthday...Bobbsy! hahaha...
We had a great time. He treated us dinner and we helped Tj ease himself into a possible career in cooking, thanks to Mini/Healthy Shabu-Shabu's ways. After that it was off to Julia Vargas to get drunk...well, not really, but to drink.
The moment I sat down, I grabbed whatever was drinkable and within a few moments I was dead poisoned. Still not the ugly kind, how you don't know what you're doing anymore. I was pretty sensible still and I realized that if I drink a lot more alcohol than my usual intake at parties or wherever, I make incredible sense at philosophizing about life, even when the world seems like it's tipping or moving. It was awful nice to see other close friends get drunk last night cause they're funny. But the most amazing thing about yesterday, wasn't really about getting drunk.
As I've mentioned before, I've been feeling down lately cause of insecurities about, well, life and stuff and after getting to talk to close friends like Jemma and some of my best friends it made complete sense that just like Henry and Clare of Niffenegger's The Time Traveler's Wife, good friends are comfortable nets under all our high-wire walking...That, by the way is one of the best lines I've read in ages:
"Our love has been the thread through the labyrinth, the net under the high-walker, the only real thing in this strange life of mine that I could ever trust." ---Audrey Niffeneger, The Time Traveler's Wife
And just like real best friends, Tj and Bob are also on the same, melancholic boat I've been sailing in for a few days now. I couldn't spill everything here cause it's rude, AND there's just too much to talk about when I go into the deepest details of our problems. So while we were recovering, slowly, from all the alcohol, we were talking about the questions of life and all human sentiments that I know each and everyone of us have gone through. And last night, I proved that the search for the "all-important-you-to-love" shouldn't eat us all up as if it's the only relationship worth living for (cause I'm guilty of it and I know most of us are). Sometimes, well, most of the time, we take close friends for granted for whatever reasons we unconsciously have, and it'll slap you right across the face that when all things fail, when your family treats you like crap sometimes, when your love life's taken to hell and when you're not just happy about who you are and what you have, the good friends, the great ones are always there, spread wide and strong underneath you, always available to catch you when you get clumsy or lose balance. And it's a beautiful thing, having friends. When you do find the greatest ones you're destined to be with, friendships don't crumble or quake.
In my case, one of the things I've been longing for in my young life was approval from people, to hear the important ones tell me that they're proud of who I am and what I've done and will do. I'm thankful my family's like that and I'm more thankful that my friends are just as supportive. Like Frank, who was literally floating last night cause of all the drinking, told us how much he took pride in our successes and of the people we are. At the end of all our pathetic episodes, our friends are always there to punch your face when you're being impossible, hug you when you need it, tell you the funniest crap you want to hear and most of all, just be there to be that handsome net under all your crazy, high-wire walking.
And I, of course, am a denim jacket wearing (I have to plug this, so the photo above makes sense and as a thank you to my lovely sister for the gift!) bobblehead who'll be the strongest, loving, try to be the most rational net for all my other close, awesome and perfect high-wire walker friends. Now, it's one of the best things I could do...Be a great friend to those who need it.
Soooo....To my beautiful, handsome and perfect, perfect friends....I love you all.
I wish we could all have more time to be young and bond and go crazy. And, thanks for keeping me sane. Cause lately, sanity has been really hard to win back.
PLUG: Please get a copy of MONDAY magazine, it's finally out. My first work for the magazine is featured in their latest issue, the Excess issue Nov-Dec 2010. Check out the contributor's page for a short profile of all of the contributors and the pages of our works. The title of my work is "From Savile Row to Starbucks". Again, thank you Conch for the assignment. It's my mom's most favorite yet.