Monday, September 13, 2010

An Open Letter to Us

I guess this overwhelming freedom that we all feel has led us to live less meaningful lives. And before you cast judgment-always-this is me, talking about "I love you" used in the most aggravating of contexts. Yes, we are back to love. And we will never be tired of it.

Facebook and Twitter and all forms of media has taught me that people, nowadays, just throw around "I love you" freely, like it's hello. I too sometimes fall bait into this open-mouthed-shark "now" syndrome. A friend of yours tells you she loves you, on---of all places---Facebook and since you were brought up not to be rude, you tell her you do too. But you don't. You're friends, yes, but not solid enough to type that and stand up for it when suddenly the earth opens up to swallow you're tiny lying ass.

Come on. If there's one thing this generation should be vigilant of, it'd be the millions of lies we encounter on a daily basis. And I think to myself, if most of the things are just 30% of what and who they really are, then might as well save some things for real people and for real occasions and for real places. I'm not washing my hands here. I am just as dirty and frowning as any of us are.

I am growing a little frustrated over the fact that suddenly, everyone's someone's lover, you know? A girl meets somebody for seven days, two weeks later she's I love you-ing that person on Twitter and then you ask her, what have you guys been through...Nothing. Or when a couple exchanges "I love you" in any kind of way, there's no more depth to it. It rings like something so common and ordinary. There's always that complaint about relationships ending up like robotic "kiss me here, kiss you there, we're for forever, right?" phase and I can't blame people for that. When you sling around those three words like it's spilled milk, nothing seems special anymore. I love you, for me, is the highest you could get to sharing yourself to someone else. And in our time, we throw it around like used paper...Whether someone means it or not, it just doesn't matter anymore cause it's as overused as "sorry" or "hello" or that awful lot "major major".

I don't remember being taught about "I love you". What I do remember is being brought up, valuing words. Sure I've lost grip of it and now I'm relearning it--thanks to Dr. Mar---for the purpose of actually meaning things. We have all forgotten what words mean and how much they weigh. Of course, it's not bad to say it when you mean it with all your soul and heart. In fact, that's the best thing you could ever say. For those of you who actually mean it, take damn pride in it. I just wish we all said things as if we sew our lives onto them, that once you let it out and the sound collapses in the air, people keep it because its the closest they could get to your most private and unrepeatable core. I'm sure that when you tell your new found friend that you love her/him with all your precious teeth out, you don't mean it as much as you want it to. And I'm sure that when you're being nagged to death by your chatty girlfriend and you say, "Babe, I really love you. Okay?" you're putting there probably half of you and half of that a sugar coated "please stop talking baby".

I'm probably getting sentimental. And I probably have a reason for it. Especially after reading Virginia Woolf's letter to her husband: some hundred or so beautiful words that's just bursting of love and yet not a mention of "I love you". Or James Dean's incredibly comical, witty and subtle love letter to one of his girlfriends:
"I never suspected one could know as few nice people as I know. My own damn fault. Lamas and scientists may fume and quander. Everything is not just illusion. You are my proof..."
You may point out how these two are exceptional since they're geniuses in their own respects, but they're human too. What makes Dean and Woolf different from you and I? We all go through similar human things. The secret was their subtlety. They were very subtle. They didn't open everything up so easily....But they meant it as much as they do say "I love you".

For me, when I say those three words, that's it...there's no turning back when you let it free. So make sure that when it lands, it'll press upon people deep enough that probably when we're dead, we'll remember it, hear it and feel it all over again. When those three words start sounding all too familiar, change it up. I love you, for me, is a lazy man's one-liner for everything else that's worth talking about anyone. So why don't you tell her to always stay the same. Or tell him to always keep his hair that way. Or tell your friend to keep on singing because she's the best you've ever heard. Or tell your mom that her three-day adobo tastes like heaven. There are so many other things about a person that you value and most of the time, we don't actually tell them that. For me, it's just as meaningful as "I love you". Only difference is, it's more tedious a task to keep highlighting their best and most loveable, but hey, you love the person so there's practically no stress to that.

We're such talkative people, but we don't say the best things, the right things...I told myself---especially after yesterday and today's life-changing consultation with Dr. Mar---that I'll do my best to treat words the way they ought to be treated.


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