Streeeettttccchhhh

photographed by Lesley Choa

It's confirmed.

I can't model. Look at that face...It looks like some bad version of a smug, pout, what have you. In this photo I look like somebody from school. Plus, I can't do a good face of mine in front of a camera. For some reason, keeping a straight, nice face for the camera is such a burden for me. I'm not fierce at all....at all.
Let's just leave all of that for the better-looking ones of the world.

Another confirmation is that yes, my work, will be seen next month (to my bosses, thank you a million times). For those of you who know it, please keep quiet. I don't want everybody to learn of it since it's not much a universally big deal (though it is the world to me).

Anyway, to God, thank you for everything. Period.

Everything includes this new bag. The moment I saw it, I felt an instant longing towards it. Like it called out my name, asking for my care and utility. It's cheap and that made it all the more lovable. I just knew that I had to have it because leaving the store without it would depress me for weeks. Though I won't ever entertain suicide over a bag, it'll surely trouble me for a while. So there. I told myself, if you can't have it now, you won't have it in a million years. So, I bought it! And I am happy, happy camper because of it, that I had to look too plain for the sake of the bag. I've always admired guys in school who brought along with them handsome bags like this one and it's not that I intended to copy them, but it's sort of an ode to all the stylish guys in school who carry bags like this. Arjay, Cindy's boyfriend has a super cool version and I have long plotted a kidnap of it. Watch your back Arjay for I am a Russian spy. I loved the bag so much, I told my mom I had to name it and she goes:

"Pag may nakita kang iba pang bag, masmamahalin mo yun..."

I treat my bags like kids. So every bag I own is a favorite (even if they're cheap hahaha)....This one, I still have no name for. One of these days though I'll surely invite you guys for its christening.

Today, I just realized that I'm way too tall even for my own sake. I stood next to Gus and it seemed like I was a little taller than him. That's bad...for me at least. Enough stretching for me. Actually, it's probably the genes kicking in. I have cousins (girls and they're younger) who'd probably be taller than I am...Genes, genes, genes. Then again, I should be thankful that I could at least stretch. Right? Some of us can't even move...so why am I complaining again?

Lately, I've been suffering from short pangs of moody-ness and I think it's because I haven't been exercising. I need to get back on my feet before I lose all of the past's hardwork. Sure enough, I will have to stretch and God knows it'll do something to my bones.

Anyway, thank you dearest Lesley for the photo. I do have a suggestion...why not try to take a picture of me (and other future subjects) from another angle? See, I'm not all perfect like everyone else so, let's work on the angles to fake perfection. Right? Tomorrow, I shall tell you.

Right now, it's all about sleep. I've come by such rare quality bed time these past few days and I have to fix my body up soon. You know how sometimes you put up with so much crap that it's slowly showing up on your body? That's how I feel. And I've always missed dreaming. Somehow, whenever I dream, I feel better...even when they're bad ones. Oh well.

Here's some sin of the flesh for you: I went to Dries Van Noten's website hours ago, and I still couldn't find the price on a jacket I've been penning on my wish list for the past months. I learned this from a friend that if you put on paper whatever you want to happen it'll soon come true. That includes all positive energies from the universe, yadah yadah yadaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh...

So I decided, I'd write it down tomorrow on a nice paper and take a picture of it for all the universe to see. That way, I hope I get enough "positive" from everyone and I'd finally see it on my doorstep one day, in all it's pretty cool glory.

I'm tempted to roll on the floor in a fit---cause I've never been this haunted by a beautiful jacket before---and pray that someone would take notice of my pathetic antics. Knowing my mom, she'd roll her eyes on it. She'd say it's such an unwise and unreasonable purchase. Well, if you do think about it, one of those awesome Dries jackets would cost you the life---education included---of probably 10 poor kids and sometimes, it nails at your heart. Truth is, having a love affair for things beautiful and wanting to have a human heart is quite an impossible feat. Some people could do it, some of us fail miserably. It's either you have the stuff or you have the heart.

70% of the time, I opt for the latter one. And that's not because I don't have the money...

Actually, I really don't have the money. HAHAH...suckaaaahhhhh.